Sazi

Brigadier Nkwashu details how Fundiswa became part of his family through a relationship with his wife's younger brother Sazi, who paid lobola for Fundiswa and lived close to their family.

“My wife had a younger brother named Sazi...Sazi lived with my wife and myself...During that time, he met Fundiswa...They developed a romantic relationship...Sazi found work at the Police...and he managed to buy his own house, and thereafter...he paid lobola for Fundiswa. They lived in a house close to ours, and spent much time with our family over the years. Fundiswa became like a baby sister to me.”

Sazi came to Johannesburg in the late 1990s or early 2000s; lobola for Fundiswa was paid in 1999; they bought their own house about a year later and stayed there.

“Sazi came to Johannesburg in the late, in the early 90’s, ja...in 1999 we paid lobola for Fundiswa...and then I think a year down the line, they bought their own house, and they stayed in their own house.”

Sazi passed away on 14 May 2000, not 14 May 2002 as initially printed, and was tragically shot.

“I think that there was a printing error ... on or about 14 May 2002, Sazi passed away. In actual fact, he passed away on 14 May 000. Tragically, he got shot”

Sazi and Fundiswa had just finalized their lobola negotiations and were preparing for a civil union at the time of Sazi's death.

“at the time of this death, Sazi and Fundiswa had just finalized their lobola negotiations, and we were preparing for a civil union”

Because of the ingxotha ritual, the bride's integration into the husband's family is complete and irreversible under Mpondo customary law, creating obligations even after the husband's death.

“Because of ingxotha, the bride's integration into the husband's family is complete and irreversible ... Custom demanded that I protect and support her as if she were my own blood sister ... The ritual had already taken place when Sazi died ... ingxotha is not dissolved by death”

The speaker became the de facto head of Sazi’s family unit after his death due to customary law obligations.

“I became de facto head of that family unit”

Sazi had an older brother who was not the breadwinner as he was unemployed, so the speaker fulfilled that role.

“Sazi had an elder brother who was staying in KZN and me, actually, I would say I was a breadwinner . . . his biological older brother was a person who was not working”

After approximately a year of mourning following Sazi’s death, the family told Fundiswa she was free to remarry and enter into another relationship if she wished.

“After about a year of Sazi's passing, the family ... decided that we inform her that ... she was free then to enter into any other relationship and remarry again if she wished to”

Fundiswa was unhappy that Brigadier Nkhwashu had never met her husband Katiso because of loyalty to Sazi and because he was angry at her marrying a married man.

“Fundiswa stated that she is not happy that I had never met her husband Katiso as she has a relationship with me and she would like me to meet her husband and I had my personal reasons, among others being my loyalty to Sazi, and the earlier reasons that I stated that I was angry for her to go marry a married man”